Everything is different now

There are times that I would reach my arm out in the air.

Leave it that way,just letting it stay like that.

Let myself wait. 

Maybe he’d come. Touch my hand, or even hold it.

That way, I’d be able to remember what was it like.

last night was one of the loneliest nights. no matter how hard i try to do things that would help me not to think about it, still i miss him. sucks, but, it would always be this way forever, i suppose.

i cried hard as i play the songs that’d remind me of what we were before. i miss that girl who used to be happy because of being in love. i cried and cried and cried myself to sleep.

and then i was dreaming. he was there. we were there. i spoke with his dad and told me that i could come over their house if would like to see him. i cried in happiness. finally i can see him again! but he, he was not quite happy seeing me.
days went by. i was trying to bring back the old days, those days before the accident. he was avoiding me. i got confused and sad, yet then i realized that he was just trying not to hurt me. he does not want to get attached because he knows that he’d still leave some time now. well, what i did was made most of his time. we spent time together. fun and happy times. suddenly,some time in that dream of mine that he just disappeared. he was gone, again. and i found myself crying.

quite a dream. again, i woke up with tears dripping down myface.
on the bright side,dreams still do get us to see what we long for. those that we do not get to see, not anymore, in the real world. especially, the ones we love the most.

First time nako mag withdraw by myself. I was hesitant at first, kasi nga takot ako baka kung ano pang katangahan ko ang mangyari! But got no choice so i went to the mall. Super absorb sa nako ang instructions ni madahar. And then there it went. Inserted the card, encoded the pin then the rest followed. Then sabi ng machine UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS AMOUNT. Is that right!? Am i being punked!? Ginerbyos ko, what went wrong? Na-hack ba or something! oh shoot me now! hahaha! Tapos I tried another card after calling mamang, this time on the other machine. Hadlok ko magkamali so i asked assistance from this ale behind me. Eh sa sobrang helpful din,parang gusto pang siya na rin mag type ng pin? Na-praning akong buhok pero i went on, and still same ting happened! I tried ulit, on the other account. I checked muna the laman, eh eto na naman, takot magkamali so i asked help uli from Ale’ng katabi. at ayaw nga niyang tumabi, she saw my current account. Na-praning na sad ko! I tried to get rid of her pero ayaw ko naman yung parang bastos. Naman o? Not to mention that she wast just really,like, inches away from me when i was typing the pin. She could have figured it out! I could’ve gotten myself into trouble! aaahrgggr! stupid! Malas ko lang, the machine still didn’t work. I went out right away before anything could happen!

grr! what an idiot? hahaha! she was a complete stranger for Pete’s sake! Oh huhuhuhu! I will never, like ever, tell this to madahar! or she would freak out more than i did! hahahaha!
Oh boy. Oooh boy x :P